Wednesday, May 25, 2011

letting go

If you just pause a little and think about it, life is a series of mixed experiences that shape us into what we are at this very moment. From the very early hours of life, our direct and distant surroundings have chiseled at our persona, along the way producing the mind that, right now, is reading this

Life, oh life…a journey, at times concurrently, can be wonderful, horrible, terrifying, fulfilling, joyful, painful, beautiful...simplicity and complexity lose their meaning as the boundary between the two narrows whenever effort is exerted to comprehend. What all these experiences have in common is that they all lead the way to a pair of uniform, constant outcomes...we could either interpret an experience as a catalyst for change, a teacher, a tool for becoming a wiser being. Alternatively, an experience may become a haunting concept that, from the back of our mind, controls our feelings, actions, emotions and our life in general.

To you I admit that my life has become a container overflowing with these tormenting thoughts and bits of scattered information. I have touched a point where a personal decision has been made to empty this vessel (my mind) and revert back to the real me. Last weekend I held a newly-born baby and couldn't help thinking that the little creature breathing peacefully inside (literally) my hands was a human being in its purest and most untainted form. Each day that goes by, society will rob that baby of his unconditional purity and turn him into a modern-age zombie.

This is exactly what happened to me and to great part of humanity. I discovered this first hand by taking the time to observe my mind whilst it was being bombarded by the countless thoughts that kept springing out of nowhere; for no apparent reason. Ruling out the possibility of insanity, another plausible explanation would be the following: the conditioning I have unintentionally been subjected to, has created a number of associations that trigger automated responses when certain criteria are met.

Ever asked yourself why the hell you're feeling down? Ever felt guilty of an over-reaction, but couldn't quite figure out why the whole thing had been blown out of proportion? The answer is simple and lies dormant inside your head until it is time for that mini volcano to erupt. It could be attachment to a dear ex-girlfriend (or boyfriend, for the female reader); it could be something that has never been forgiven; it could be an injustice that still hurts. It could also be something you don't even (and never will) remember.

My cup is full and I want to clear it, cleansing it of all the useless junk that has accumulated over the years. I want to make room for new thoughts and emotions...ones that make me feel better, not worse. The only way of doing so is to break the association and return to a neutral state…a state in which judgments are avoided and where reason reigns above everything.

I have decided to move on,
I have decided to forgive,
I have decided to accept....

I have decided to let go

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